It musn't needs be...

Well, after weeks of anticipation, we finally received the phone call that we are not moving. I was a little surprised, but I am LOTS happy! I was having a hard time thinking of leaving my family behind. Think no more cuz I will be here for a while longer.
I have had the distinct impression that our work here is not finished. I do not know what that means. I may never know, but that is what I got for now!
So, outings with my girls, Sunday dinner with all, missionary lessons with Lilly, Seminary teaching, loving friends I've met here, squeezing baby Titan and nurturing my mother- to- be (Sheridan) will continue to be part of my daily life! YAY! Life is good!

We've sprung a spring

I came into the garage just fine after Seminary and parked my little Winnie. We had a girls day planned, me and my girls. Go walk around the "big mall", eat some scrumptious lunch then go and watch the movie "babies". We would meet at Laurens house at 10 am. I packed my stuff in anticipation of the much needed get away. I got into my car and pushed my garage door opener and the door went up 3 inches then back down, then up and back down, and up again and back down again. It was a tug of war between lift or stay... Stay won. The spring on the right side had broken in half. I was a prisoner in my own garage. So instead of girls day out, it was girls day in. I had to wait for Mr. Repair Man to come and we all know how that is. But, I called Mr. Repair Man's secretary and asked her if I could go out to lunch with my girls and have him come later and she gladly agreed. I think she felt my pain at being stranded...the girls and I went to an especially delicious lunch at Ardovinos and the minute I walked in the door the phone rang and fix it man was here 5 minutes later!
Sheridan mentioned at lunch that she had been having a weird feeling about going today. Maybe we weren't supposed to follow the plan we had originally made. We all agreed that things happen for a reason... I'm going to go the garage for a little game of tug of war..this time there will be a different winner!

Tomorrows

What a gift to be able to go to bed each night knowing that tomorrow will bring with it a new day with new possibilities and opportunities! I have been extremely grateful for this gift the last couple of months. It is not a small thing. There were some days last week where I was maybe (probably) wishing that I didn't have to face a tomorrow and what it might hold. But I did face a tomorrow and then another tomorrow and they were hard and they were painful. And I have kept facing my tomorrows. A scripture keeps recounting over and over again in my head ..."there is no reward until after the trial of your faith." AFTER the TRIAL. Oh yes. AFTER. There have been dark days and sad days and teary days and angry days. I have felt the deepness of my sorrow trying to swallow me up, its gaping jaws ready and waiting for me to fall in. But I am not going to. Because I have tomorrows. I have tomorrows to trust in the Lord with all of my heart, might, mind and strength. I have tomorrows to feel His arms wrapped around me encouraging me to be strong and to be courageous. I have tomorrows to be taught lessons that I might not otherwise have learned. And I have tomorrows to love the people that love me and to enjoy warm and rich relationships with family and friends. And most of all I have tomorrows to serve those around me who may be (probably) having trials even worse than my own. What a gift to have tomorrows! I am going to make the most of them that I can!

It's raining...

.....in my heart. Being a Mom can be so hard sometimes. Logically, I KNOW that the hard things are the very things that are greatly rewarded, but sometimes that logic gets buried in the deep, dark corners of my soul.
I also understand the principle about the Lord never giving us more than we can handle. But, I sometimes wonder if He has mistaken me for someone else, because I am not handling this particular trial in my life right now, very well.
I want to shout as loud as I can "WHY ?", "WHY DO I HAVE TO DO THIS ?"
But then a warm and comfortable feeling washes over me and I KNOW why I have to do this. The Lord is counting on me. He trusts me. He knows that I will do what it takes to get through this. I am so glad that He has such confidence in me because at times I do not have it in myself and that is when I am broken and humbled, and He is able to teach me.
As the days turn into weeks and the weeks into months I wonder when and where this will all end, but that really doesn't matter. What matters is that I have a Savior who knows me and loves me and is very aware of my life. In turn, I am to do as He does and love and care and help without end.

Ellen wanted MY red purse

I love when I wake myself up laughing. It happens on occasion, I wish it would happen every morning 'cuz it makes for a good day! And this morning it was especially delicious because I woke up laughing really hard and it was already time for me to get up! Usually it is the middle of the night and I have trouble getting back to sleep 'cuz I keep laughing. (We call this condition "the simpletons"). This is what is so funny, even though it really isn't that funny. I was wandering around doing a little window shopping when all of the sudden I see Ellen in a store window dancing around and she had my red purse on her neck. I pointed at her and she pointed back at me and made a funny face and twirled around to show off the purse. Then she pointed to the purse. I pointed to the purse and she danced some more. That is when the laughing convulsions started. My body shook and then I became vocal, so I had to stick my face in my pillow. It was good because my laughing woke up the Mr. and we jumped out of bed to do the INSANITY work-out...because we are insane.

Getting back to my "roots"

That is usually a positive statement: Getting back to our roots, but today it wasn't positive at all. The roots that I am talking about are the very roots that reside inside of my back right molar, tooth #30 to be exact. Those roots had a bad experience today. I had to get a root canal.I normally have a pretty high tolerance for pain and I am not a problem patient (I have dealt with a few of those over the years) but today proved me to be a liar. It began with a shot way in the back of my mouth along the hinge of my jaw, all was going well. Then came another shot close to the same vicinity, and then finally a third in the same general area. Doc said lets let it sit for a few minutes then we will begin! I got to sport a cool pair of giant sunglasses so I don't get spattered in the eyes with...well we'll leave it at that. He comes in and tells me that we are going to begin, and if at any time I have pain to raise my hand. The assistant squirts water and blows air on my tooth, I raise my hand...oh dear it is already starting. I can feel the cold. Ok says doc, and yet another shot...this time to the inner side of that tooth. (did you keep count, this is shot #4). We begin again. He starts to drill onto the top of my tooth. I can feel slight pain but nothing unbearable, then it happened, he hit a nerve. I raised my hand. I can feel that. Ok then...this time Doc informs me that he will have to admin a shot directly into the nerve in that tooth. YIKES! He says the first one will hurt worst (first one? how many will there be? will I be numb for days???) In goes the first shot. A little hurtful. Then another and finally a third. In case you have lost count, we are at a grand total of 7! He begins to drill and poke and prod and drill some more and by now I have to go to the bathroom really bad, so I raise my hand. I mumble through the latex block on my tooth, mouth hanging as wide open as the grand canyon "I ha to go to da baroom". He was probably secretly wishing that I would somehow get flushed and disappear and never come back. Actually I was wishing the same!
After 1 1/2 hours of this, we finally finished. The doc made me feel better when he said that this was a really hard tooth to get numb on anybody. I hope that is true and that he wasn't just saying that to make me feel like less of a whimpy, but even if he was, I will take it! By 2:30 ( 5 hours later) the numbness finally began to wear off and I drank a vanilla malt and all was well with the world again!

Missionary Ants

This sounds as if it is going to be an irreverent post but it won't I promise..I guess I've just had missionaries on the brain since we have a friend who is interested in taking the discussions. She was supposed to come tonight, in fact, but canceled last minute. That's ok...little baby steps. She would make a great member of our wonderfully awesome church. She is sweet and helpful and loves to be with people. She just "fits"!
Anyway, you know the song "The ants go marching one by one..." well that is not true...at least at my house. Today I saw some ants and they were marching two by two and that is all I could think of...missionaries. These little ants have the right idea! They are always with a companion, they work HARD (ever watch those little guys move a crumb that is 3 times their size?) and they are always looking out for others. The only thing that doesn't really relate is the biting thing. I don't think that missionaries bite....unless they are hungry, of course. And that is why we feed them!
Keep a watch out for these missionary ants. You might find some in your own yard.