MOM

 She was my angel, soulmate, best friend, partner in crime, listening ear, soft spot to land, woman.  She is my Mom!

On August 20th, 2022 we lost her.  And although she was 90 years old she was still active and spry and fun…which made the loss cut even deeper.

In August of 2021 she had a lump grow on her head.  We had it immediately seen to and it was removed along with a node near her ear.  The dermatologist assured us that the borders were clear and they got all the cancer that they found.

In April of 2022 she had another lump appear on her head.  And she has started feeling bad, having horrible hot flashes and feeling weak after they passed. Her head would hurt and her breathing became slightly labored.  

After a couple of months Melissa took her to the dermatologist ( a new one) and he removed it.  On July 18 Mom was diagnosed with metastatic melanoma.  The doctor told her she had only “months” to live.  😭

That day a part of me died.  I could not believe that soon my Mom would be gone and I would have to try and figure out how to go on without one of my best friends and favorite pal.

I left for Albuquerque 2 days later.  I was blessed to be able to spend the last month of her life with her, along with a rotating group of siblings.

She passed peacefully with some of us holding her hand and that was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.

I miss her so much.  So very much.  Words cannot express the deep ache that I have in my heart.  

Mom was one in a million.  I have learned at her feet so many wonderful ways to live.  I am far from perfect but I am trying.  

I am so grateful that I had her by my side.  She was my pillar, my rock, my guide, my guard, my teacher, my friend.  And now, my Angel.  

Mom, I love you and miss you so much.  Until we meet again, I will hold you in my heart and treasure the life we had together. ❤️

Oh what a….day after day after day

And the days turn into months and the months turn into years.  Time is funny, isn’t it?  When you’re waiting for a result or an important phone call or for someone to get home, time seems to stand still, but when you’re having fun with friends or family or you’re on that dream vacation, time just takes note and moves faster than usual!

The Beehive journey has been one of a very hard nature!  

We’ve managed through COVID and a snow storm that shut down power and off water for 4 days straight.  ( looooong days and nights….)we’ve also managed through much turnover with staff and also residents.  After all, we are in the “to-go” business.

It’s been almost 3 years since we started this adventure, seems like yesterday and also many years ago.  Time-don’t stand still but also, don’t run.

They are HIS children

There is probably nothing in this world that offers as much joy and satisfaction as our families!  But, like everything else in this world, there has to be opposition.  Sooooo, there is also probably nothing in this world that offers as much heartache and worry as our families.  Am I right?  Please say it's not just me that has these thoughts!

As I have been thinking about some things that our family is going through right now, and especially some kids of mine, I was praying and asking Heavenly Father for the usual favors that I ask of Him regarding my offspring (which is plenty and often, let me tell you)...I immediately had the soft answer come into my head that whispered "they are my children, I am aware of them, you aren't alone.".....................WHEW!!!!

I had a warm and comforting feeling envelope me.  I know that this is true.  I am NOT alone, I am NEVER alone.  

They are HIS children.  I will ask Him next if they are too old for me to spank.  I think they need one, or two.

Promises and Patriarchal blessings

This is a sacred topic!  I love my Patriarchal blessing and I get it out frequently so that I can be reminded of the promises that are mine if I am faithful and steadfast!  I also like to be reminded of the warnings and the counsel that are contained in it!

There is one part of my blessing that has always felt like such a heavy responsibility.  I recognize the HUGE blessing that it is!  I really do.  But I am a frail and weak human who isn't always perfect (not even close) with prayer.

Here is the part:

"through your prayers you might call down blessings that might not otherwise come to your family"

I have often wondered if I would know exactly what blessings came as a result of my prayers, that might not otherwise come.  

As I was thinking on these things this week, a thought came to me that one of the times the prayer that was offered, was a prayer that saved my sons life.  I don't know what he was doing or where he was, but because I had offered a prayer, Heavenly Father, as He promised, answered that prayer for me.  The incident happened more that 2 months ago, but just this morning, when I was ready to listen, I received that witness!

I am so grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who has such confidence and faith in his children!  I am grateful for the promises that are sure.  I love Him.  I am mindful of the many blessings that are poured down upon me on a daily basis!

 

Weekend Plans

Yesterday Jordan and I sanded down the stair railing prepping it for a fresh coat of stain! After 4 years of the nasty that was on there before and because Leon is on the High Adventure trip with the Scouts I thought this was a perfect weekend to get this project done!!! So I am headed to Lowe's for stain and supplies! I will post before and after pics!

I think I will offer to watch my favorite little person tonight, Titan. He is so stinkin cute, he makes me laugh everyday!!!

Tomorrow my sweetie comes home from the Lake and I can't wait!! I think we will try and squeeze a little date in when he gets home (and showers, of course!)

So there are the most exciting plans for the weekend! Monday is girls camp so I will write about those adventures next week when I return!

Happy Weekend !!!

Accepting the Lords will

This has been heavy on my mind the last few days.  What exactly does it mean to "accept the Lord's will"?  How does one even begin?

I imagine that if we put all of our trials....sadness and disappointments, discouragements and heartaches all in a heap, we might be able to build a mountain.  

A mountain that can serve as our lofty look out when we realize that we have endured all those many things that the Lord has asked of us.  We can claim our spot on the top with gladness and with rejoicing that we made it!

Is this what it means?  That if we accept what the Lord is asking of us, and we endure it well (which is not always the easiest thing to do) we can sit on the top of His mountain, with Him and be glad and rejoice?  I think so.  

He knows what we are made of, He made us!!  He knows that we can trudge through those stormy nights in the rain and mud, with the wind in our faces and still come out on the other side where the sun is shining and the flowers are blooming and the grass is green!  He KNOWS WE CAN DO IT!!!

Climb your mountain!  Do it with pride, knowing that you have those at your back pushing you and cheering you on, and others in the front, beckoning you to continue, and yet others at your side, namely the Savior, who never leaves us alone, holding your hand and gently leading you along! 

Accepting His will doesn't mean that we have to always be cheerful and pretend that life isn't hard.  It doesn't mean that it will make our trials easier or even better, go away!!!  No, it means quietly taking His hand as He guides us, bravely trusting as He teaches us!

Just to be willing

So this week has proven to be quite interesting in many ways.  But, for the sake of this post, I will concentrate on one word that sums it all up quite nicely.  Willing.

I was asked if I could pick up my HT and his wife at the airport on a busy Tuesday afternoon, I said that of course I could.

I received a text from a mother who needed a ride home from Seminary for her daughter and one other on an early Thursday morning.  Both in the same week. 

I am happy to be of service, especially knowing that I have been asking a lot of favors of the Lord lately.  A LOT.

So, on Tuesday morning I received a text saying that my HT and his wife are stranded in Wyoming because of storms.  I wouldn't be needing to pick them up.

On that same Tuesday afternoon I received another text saying that the mother of the girls needing a ride home figured something else out and I wouldn't be needing to take them home.

I do believe that sometimes just be willing allows the Lord to understand our hearts and shows him that we are available...that we are grateful.. and that we are willing...willing to lift one another and bear one another's burdens.

I am glad that this week I was willing and, although I didn't do anything, the Lord knows that He can count on me to be at least that.